“Their tidal-wave faith drowns the sand pebble efforts I make to draw near to God.”

We were blessed to recently hear our son preach at his new church in Iowa. He started a series on the book of Mark in the New Testament, but one thing he told about in this specific message made an impression on me.

It was a story he shared of a neighbor he and Beth had in Massachusetts.  She had walked away from the church and they were talking with her about it.  She gave the reason as, “I can’t walk straight.”  I was struck by the fact that she felt hopeless to “make it” in the Christian world.

It made me think of the many times I have felt like giving up because I feel like I can’t “walk straight.”  I compare my Christian journey to others in the faith who seem to have it all together.  They sail through rough times on the wings of angels, it seems.   They don’t struggle with depression, don’t worry, don’t get angry, don’t….well, you get my drift.

They can quote book, chapter and verse of the Bible…in several translations.   They brag about having no baggage.  Their tidal-wave faith drowns the sand pebble efforts I make to draw near to God.

Guilt and shame wash over me and I ask God why I seem to struggle so much with my faith.  I ask Him A LOT!  I do all the “right” things also.  I spend quality time in prayer and the word of God.  I rebuke satan and quote scripture.  I am constantly trying to find ways I can help others, but still….many times I feel weak.

My husband has been my greatest encouragement in my life.   Yet, he is one whose faith hardly ever wavers.   He’s been through storms that would make Jesus’ disciples quake.   Yet, he has never once, in the 40 years I have known him, thought about walking away from God.

Even with our differences, his patience, love and care for me and my fragilities is breathtaking.   I think there are several reasons for this.

First, he loves me more than anyone on earth – and I know it. (Although I admit, I do wonder about those darn grandkids sometimes).    Secondly, he has walked with me through many valleys and he knows how I struggle.  He also knows me because he has taken time to listen and care, and not judge.  He wants the very best for me, but he also acknowledges the lack of “tools” I was given.

For example, it is very difficult for me to believe that God loves me.  I can give that encouragement to others all day long, and truly believe it for them…..but it’s ever so difficult to accept for myself.   And I’ve heard about every answer for it I know.

Judgement is something we pass onto other Christians in a shameful way.  We may not voice it but we pridefully tell our own selves, “I would never do that.”  “What is wrong with her, why can’t she …. (fill in the blank.)

We condemn others with that judgement without ever taking the time to get to know someone.   That is sad and unfortunate.   It’s when we take time to understand others that we stretch our care of human beings, whom God has created in His own imagine, but whom He also knows  are very fragile.   And even if we don’t necessarily like what others do, we are strongly commanded many times to love them.

I find it interesting (and think it’s no mistake) that the love list in 1 Corinthians begins with, “Love is patient…”  To truly love others, especially some, takes a great deal of patience.   In fact, it takes lots of patience to exhibit love to our spouses and children at times. So, imagine what it will take to love others, especially those we don’t want to love.

But scripture dictates it.  And 1 Corinthians 13 is a great place to start with how we do love.   It’s the greatest “way.”

In fact SO great is its command and way that Paul begins the chapter with his own rightfully shame-based diatribe for those who think they have it all together.

Simply put, it doesn’t matter who we think we are, what we think we’ve accomplished, how together we think we have it….if we aren’t loving, none of that matters.  NONE OF IT!!!!

In a little more modern terms, it doesn’t matter if we are the minister of a huge church with eloquent sermons, if we’re on the mission field, or doing great things winning the world to Christ, or know the Bible from front to back.  If we’re not loving – patient, kind, humble, seeking good of others, etc., it simply does not matter who we are, or what we’re doing.

And what is the point of all this?    To obey God, and to walk beside and with others so we ALL can walk straight.